Dear spirit person/thing
Music: Avril Lavigne - 'He Wasn't'

I would like to take a moment to thank you for letting me know you were in the neighborhood last night by way of tugging at my pants. However, I must insist you make appointments in future and not turn up uninvited while I'm sitting in the dark engrossed in the latest offering from the Most Haunted team on TV as your actions resulted in my potentially deafening everyone while screaming like a banshee, using unrepeatable language and possible personal injury to myself and others in the room as I scrambled up onto the chair to remove my leg from your grasp and my mother scrambled to get all the lights on to see what the hell was going on.

Thank you so much,
until again,
Me.