Sunday, December 21, 2003

Drunk like me

Ohhhh yesh baby!!!!!!!!! totally stressed because I actually made a latch ditch attempt at xmas shopping today, and it was worse than ever though thankfully finished with (bah humbug and all that good stuff), and being totally abandoned as bro and dad are out at xmas "do's" and my mother is working I found some vodka and made good use of it ha! As the house was empty I decided to stay in there (well, they've got the big telly haven't they lol!) and settled down to watch Blade II on cable which I enjoy much more than the first one and I also happened to see as you get to the end of the credits "no real reapers were harmed in the making of this film" laughed my ass of, never noticed that before.

I am aware the above plainly shows I have no life, but that's what happens when you move away for two years and suddenly come home, most of your friends have had the same idea and have buggered off too *shrugs* one in Australia, on in Galway, one in England and etc... can be a while between visits lol! At 32 it's just too hard to start infiltrating myself into various "groups" and "cliques" again, and would I want too? May be a great novelty for a while but guaranteed, at some point I'd feel my life was totally invaded. I don't expect anyone to understand, it's just how I am, a solitary being who loves peoples company on her own terms, rude and horrid as that sounds, too set in my own ways I guess. This brings me on to another subject, a little while ago I remember mem talking about being away from work for some time and how difficult it is to get back into the swing of the corporate, working world especially full time. And you know what, I understand, I totally get how daunting and scary it is, I've been out of work for a year now because as mentioned before my bones think they belong to an 80 year old and right now medication etc will hopefully build them up slightly over time, but the thought of the first time that someone says I can go back to work terrifies me, and it's not the work itself, it's a routine, it's interaction with real people, things I don't have a huge ammount of right now. I'm out of practice, and yes scared. Part of me wants to continue being invisable.

Gods..... maybe I should drink more lol!

Anyway, enough rambling before it becomes even more strange, I'm going to give my vodka sodden mind a break and continue watching "bedazzled" and no, not the hurley and frazer redo, but the Moore and Cook one. Now there's comedy :)

(and to all those huggers so far, thankies peeps you made me smile :D)

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lurking: online
date: March.27.09
mood: Low..
thinking: people....
drinking: coke zero
eating: nada
watching: Goth'N'Roll
reading: 21 Years Gone (Jack Osbourne)




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