Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Awake..

...Showered and up for some major pampering :) Woke up today actually liking myself, probably won't last the day as I have a major problem when it comes to the concept that I'm worthy of said pampering or care. But I'm on a mission to be nicer to myself and to be healthier in general, to somehow spur myself on to find the motivation I need to want to be outside in the world, to be confident and comfortable in this skin. I think this clarifys for me why I do this, this journal, the cam, not something anyone would expect from someone who claims such low self esteem really but it is cathartic. I read and I see fiestyness and humour along side the mundane and the moaning lol! and I like it, I look and I'm learning to live with the face. I'm truly getting to know both the inside and the out and it's a long process ongoing from June '01 and it's not likely there'll ever be that definitive moment when all slips into place and I find myself 100% content. Just able to 'live with comfortably' will do.

How come I feel I've set myself up for mission impossible lol! Back away from this post now it may self destruct in 5 seconds...

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date: March.27.09
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