Saturday, June 12, 2004

Music: G'N'R - 'Sympathy for the Devil'

Another 'I was just in the shower and thinking' ramble, I do that a lot. Anyway I guess it's more or less because my birthday is coming up next month and 33 is a little disconcerting lol! But not in a 'dear goddess I'm geriatric' sort of way, well maybe kinda *laughs*, it's more about the pressure that mounts each year from all directions to 'grow up' to be doing and have what society deems at this stage I should. I seem somehow to have lost the page in the rulebook that states from somewhere around mid twenties on, perhaps even younger, you are required to slip into the quagmire of home ownership, job, marriage, kids, financial stabillity, know who you are and where your going. Most of all you are required to have 'grown out of' that silly loud music and those ridiculous clothes that you probably still love so much if only you were honest and not doing what is socially acceptable because your suppossed to. So you wait until wife or hubby has gone out, stick on your hidden Metallica CD and play air guitar to your hearts content. Well I don't own my own home or have any of those other things, I don't know who I am and I appear to be reading the map for where I am going upside down. What's annoying is that everyone else seems to be more worried about it even than me. Perhaps I don't want those things, perhaps it's the fear that starting into all that now is too much too late. Either way let me figure it out, pushing me to 'change' won't work. I don't have a button anyone can press that will change or make me hate the music I love or the clothes you dispise simply because you decree I should 'be over it'.

All this is probably why I know very few around my age that I communicate with, because these things change people, very few seem to take all that on and remain the same. Yes I'm well aware it's called responsibility, but some still manage to be true to themselves, enjoy what they always did without abandoning it because of some number and who they should be when they reach it and not become 20 years older in their heads overnight. I just have more in common with those younger, my brain is in a perpetual state of teenage angst etc etc *laughs* It's much easier for me too to fit in with that as most assume I'm 'one of them' anyway that I'm not much more than 18, 19 sometimes. That I'm not going to complain about!

So, you will excuse me while I mosh my little head off, dress totally inappropriatly for 33 *rolls eyes* pierce and tattoo myself at will, dye my hair strange colors should the mood take me, whine and bitch about parents, do stupid things and act like the much younger person my brain beleives itself to be for as long as I can get away with it or senility sets in and I don't care any more. For those who would say 'grow up' make me!


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lurking: online
date: March.27.09
mood: Low..
thinking: people....
drinking: coke zero
eating: nada
watching: Goth'N'Roll
reading: 21 Years Gone (Jack Osbourne)


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