Music: HIM - 'Gone With The Sin'
Wow.... 22nd already huh? Strange how what you think has only been a day or two between posts can turn out to be 6. Not that there has been much to say, besides that I have been generally agitated, freaking out and unfocused, aimlessly roaming around, watching things go on around me, visiting my normal online haunts without much to contribute and drinking too much to become numbed. I have been fidgety, mentally feeling like it's hard to breath, that it's all to chaotic. More and more over the last few days I have confined myself to my room because unlike most of the similar experiences I've had, physically this was telling, so before I exploded, hyperventillated, started rocking in my chair or pacing the house in frantic mode I thought it best to be as little around my family as possible. I am left feeling dissassociated and alien, feeling like I'm decending into madness lol! But the fact I can rationalize this means it's obviously not quite the case just yet, besides today has been a better day and as always these things pass.... I feel quieter 'inside' not so much trying to escape my skin, this world that so scares me sometimes *sigh*
Deep for the usually amusing me that most people probably would rather read than the above. Anyway, asides from that it's November, almost December and freezing so I'm told but I am overly warm, the false, stuffy central heating irratates me, has my already overly heated self sweating and I am avoiding the house also for that reason. My garage room = single wall, cool temperature and I don't need to spend ages leaning out an open window to feel the wind, the cool air whip around me.