Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Wait Mr Postman...
Music: Motley Crue - 'Shout At The Devil'

Don't you just love it when postie brings mail that you'd rather shove down his throat and then post him and it back where it came from? The only money I receive right now is benefit granted for medical reasons (ie, my crap bones etc) and this morning I get a great big huge form to deal with as that's all going to be reassessed and they'll decide then if I continue receiving benifit or am to subjected the the fornightly humiliation of 'signing on' where you are treated quite obviously as just lazy scum and spend the rest of the time in between trying to find jobs you might have a chance at to fill your little 'book' up with to show them next time. I find it immensely stressful, you wander in there beet red and already armed with your feeble excuses about why you've not got 700 interviews and expect to get a call to say your employed within the minute. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. *screams*

The whole situation just stresses me out and pisses me off. The whole reassessing thing will probably require seeing one of their doctors, with no clue about me, and I'm really done with all the poking and prodding people.... On top of that I've been away from the working world for so long, so long that it's very scary to contemplate being in a working environment again. It's difficult to intigrate yourself into 'the system', the workforce when you want to cling to the less frightening realm of the familliar and safe, the routine (even if you often times wish to fly from it for a time) and you are not used to dealing with people. This isn't somethng that's easy to explain or that others understand, they sit back with their preconceived notions about you, who you are, you get sick and tired of the 'so have you got a job, where do you work?' questions, seeing that 'look' when you say your not working right now and feeling like your permanently defending your position.

(word to the wise, if you can't, don't understand and are negatively going to comment, well... I wouldn't)

And now I'm off to the shower, perhaps I will be less pissy about it all after that.


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lurking: online
date: March.27.09
mood: Low..
thinking: people....
drinking: coke zero
eating: nada
watching: Goth'N'Roll
reading: 21 Years Gone (Jack Osbourne)


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