Tears

I need to cry, the release of stress and tension would be welcome, just as it was earlier tonight, but I think I'll sleep, perhaps things won't seem so pointless tomorrow.

*coughs, sneezes...*

Bleugh! feel like crap really, staying at a friends hence I'm sort of 'in and out', it seems I have a rather miserable head cold *spreads germs over monitor* ohhh i'm so evil!!!! and so obviously medicated lol!. Heading to Camden on the 28th again, can't wait and then back home for halloween my fav holiday of the year!

I think now it's time to curl up in bed and get warm as i'm pretty cold at the minute (heating's off) and I don't want this to have a chance to get any worse.

Just tired

Tired of trying, tired of holding back, just frustratingly tired

Who'd have thought it eh?


You represent... angst.
You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.


What feeling do you represent?
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Well, as you can see I'm still here... slept right through the alarm and having got up, jumped in the shower. got dressed, rang the optitions to double check my glasses were ready my day is only beginning proper right now *d'oh...*

Early start

And gods how I hate the thought of it... but I have to get into town to pick up those new glasses, leave books into the library on the way back, get some washing done and then start packing my case for Tuesday and oh yeah... lets not forget I need to get sawdust/food etc for the hamsters while I'm in town too. At least I did manage to clean up the place so that I can strike off my list *meep*

*Dead*

Gods I'm so very tired, was around 6am before I finally called it a night, and it was a very interesting night in more ways than one... 'someone' got a fright anyway, don't like people roaming around my head.

To Do over the next couple of days:
Clean up around here
Sort out clothes for going away
Get into town to pick up new glasses
Clean out mad tiny rodents who are now trying to kick the sawdust out themselves in an attempt to alert me to their stinkiness
Most importantly learn how to use my time better, really it's such a big problem of mine, I think I't hopeless...

And now, I need to lie down.

What not to do...

Close a door with your fingers, don't look as your doing it therefore not realising it's about to hit the frame and crush your fingers.... ouch....... bruised and swollen knuckles, it actually cut one *shakes fist at stupid fucking door...*

Ugg...

Damn eye burning, skull crushing headache again, don't know whether it's because I got up too early (though it was after 1pm I could have quite happilly just closed my eyes again) or slept too long which also tends to set them off. I've taken ibuprofen, (which I'm going to do again shortly) lain quietly in the dark and actually managed to drift off for a little but the pain remians.

Update: The drugs DO work
Well it's a little later and a second dose of painkillers and a "Kool 'n' Sooth" migraine sheet seem to have dulled it it's not totally gone, just threatening to return at full power so as long as I don't aggrevate it I should have avoided waking up with it tommorrow

Standing on the edge of the abyss...

and thinking diving in might be somewhat of a release..... I need a night to myself, to be immersed in nothingness. I'm not feeling all that strong. Sci-fi seems to be showing promise so I'm going to curl up, watch and eat until I throw up.

Still breathing...

That smell is in the air, that crisp, distinctive aroma I dearly love that signifies the seasons change as it heads toward the colder months ahead, I stood outside and just breathed it in. Normally I am heard to quip "ahhhhhhhhh, I smell winter" lol! That said the forums are looking dandy dressed up in their halloween finest ;)

So, what has been happening? Well remember I had mentioned dying my hair?I finally went and did it hehe you can view a small section here. Aside from that things have been relatively quiet, my friend left yesterday after a 2 week stay and we were pretty much totally lazy just occasionally venturing out shopping , that was until Friday, when after 3 years or more I finally got to go back to a metal/rock club I love and revel in the music, darkness, dry Ice and hot lil Manson lookalike, oh yeah he had it down to a 'T' lol! clothes, hair, make-up. He was pretty popular, made for great entertainment lol! Saturday we went to see Underworld. Too awesome for words! *bounces* and one that I'll be buying. Speaking of films although I already own Razor Blade Smile because yup, I'm obsessed with that film, there was absolutely NO way that upon finding it on DVD for £5.99 I was going to walk out of the store without it, makes the video look like complete pants lol! and of course the extras make it worth while too especially the cast interviews Eileen Daly is just too sweet and really comes accross as a genuinely nice person.

Last but not least, and probably the most huh? and spontaneous thing of all, lil old me decided perhaps it was time to do something interesting, something I already had a foundation, grasp and understanding of and so I found myself enrolling for a parapsychology course (who wants a boring old 'mundane' diploma anyway lol!)

Well it appears I had more to say than I thought *shrugs*