Must.....move.....
Music: Ickle hamster squeakies

I think I am going mad, I'm defiantely going to go catatonic if sit and stare at this screen any longer. I'll just be found sitting in this chair, in the dark, stiff as a board and drooling. Nice, but not a good look for me.

*slaps ezboard*
Music: Marilyn Manson - '(S)aint'

2. Certain boards are not back online. There are a small number of servers that are not redirecting properly to their new location. This results in the affected boards not being accessible. If your board previously resided on b30this was where pub145 went before they decided to move it again and why we can't be reached through the previous addys. We are now p200., pub50, pub66, pub73, pub138, pub205, pub207, pub209, pub222, or pub247 you are most likely affected. We are aware of the severity of the problem and our technicians are working to resolve these redirection issues.

Nothing, not one damn thing, ever just happens without a hitch with ezboard. Guys, just stop pressing buttons. Don't touch anything! Leave it alone for the sake of humanity! Won't somebody think of the children!!!!! Anyway, the link for the forums should work from here as I found out where we are now located. I can now also get into the 'my community' section of my control panel which I couldn't do before so it may be slow but I think we are heading in the right direction....

Hissy fit
Music: HIM - 'Join me (in death)'

Arggggggggh!!!! So a couple of days ago, I was looking at reviews for a film I love when I came across a review for an old favourite I've owned and loved for years Trick or Treat. I haven't watched in years I'm sure but having it brought to mind I poked about and unearthed the video. Very happy now I stuck it in the machine to rewind it. It does it's thing and then unexplainably spits the cassette back out at me! I went over to investigate, stuck it right back in but nooooooo it wasn't having it, the video tried target practice with it again, so I decided to have a closer, proper look. The actual tape itself must have been in half somewhere, there was no damn tape for the machine to catch it's all now wound nicely onto one side inside it's nice plastic cover. *Wails* Gah!

Rant, rant, rant....
Music: Placebo - 'Pure Morning'

Where the fuck are my forums ezboard? Based on previous experiences your damn right I was nervous when they informed us of the change over/maintenence etc and wasn't for a moment expecting things to go as smoothly as suggested, it happens, it's a lot of work. But dammit it seems the entire rest of the network is up and running but me (and possibly anyone else who was on that pub145 server as they aren't loading for me either) and my patience is wearing a tad thin..... Unless of course it's just me, so if there is anyone who isn't having any trouble let me know. And if you are but you can get to the ezboard bug base (again, I can't seem to) please let me know if there are other complaints or what's going on, cause yeah, that would be good...

And now just becasue I felt like entertaining myself, some quizziness, and isn't it an amusing result. heh!

You are Sanguine - The ancient Greeks
believed this was caused by having too much
blood.

Strengths: You are enthusiastic, talkative, expressive, and friendly.
well I guess I am passionate, expressive, dependant on topic, and am always told I 'talk with my hands' lol!
Weaknesses: You can be undisciplined, distractable, and have a tendency to exaggerate.
Hell yeah
At your best: You are an energetic spokesperson.
again not generally, really dependant on topic
At your worst: You can be an egotistical entertainer.
I'm going to pretend I don't even know what that means *cough*
You measure your own value by: Applause
Know many who don't to some degree?
For personal growth, you should focus on: Restraint
probably..
For others to relate well to you, they should be: Stimulating
yup, stupidity is frustrating
Others should support your: Ideas
Because they are always brilliant :P
If someone wants you to make a decision, they should give: Testimonies
yup, long and overly detailed testimonies, I like to know waht I'm wandering into and I'm crap ant decision making lol!


What Ancient Greek Personality Type Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

also if your that bored you can listen to a snippet of my somewhat posh Northern Irish accent. cause I am no 'Belfastie' at least untill I'm around lots of them then I forget myself *laughs*. I felt like being silly. If it doesn't work or sounds crappy... I can't help ya :P

Gods I'm so crap...

How did I ever survive on my own, how did I ramble around Australia by myself for a year, live and survive for 2 years in England without starving to death or looking like a hobo? I think I have become spoiled. My mother left for a weeks holiday last Friday and now that she isn't here I realise that I can't cook, I barely feed myself (and when I remember, it's late and I eat crap) without the constant reminder, I can't iron, and although it's not supposed to, everything goes in the washing machine and I just hope for the best that it all comes out ok. Let's assume I'm never, never, going to make a housewife or take care of anyone else. They are going to have to be pretty adept at fending for themselves lol! Much as sometimes I could gladly slap her silly, this time round I'm realising what she does around here. My poor brother and dad have just had to get on with it, god knows there is no point in looking at me and thinking that just like when mum is here dinner will be waiting whan they get home, shirts will be ironed and yadda yadda.

There is also a wicked , evil side of me that says 'don't start what you may be expected to continue' and she's winning heh...

I love mail!!!!

Especially when it's my vampirewear freebies!!!! *happy dances* :D

I is ten! hehe! I'ma big girl!

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

Heh!

Last night was pretty funny, don't think I have been just so sillly or had such a long IM coversation with anyone in a very long time (but then anyone who knows me or has been here often enough knows I don't 'do' messangers, it's a rare event lol!) And the comments oi! *shakes head and giggles* lol! Twas just good to be daft for bit and not worry, think about or over analyse every thought and sentence. I was feeling entirely to serious.

And now, I'm going to close and and log off, and spend my Sunday doing nothing but vegging in front of the TV like a good couch potato and try to ignore the computer. I have spent entirely too much time in front of it and I really don't think I fancy an ass groove appearing in my computer chair.

**almost forgot. Since I was pretty sure I heard tiny, non grown up hamster squeaking, I think the little one(s) made it thus far... *so, fingers crossed*

just for kimmy ;) (and anyone else who cares lol!) some Justin Hawkins goodness

once a day, i wink at you,
and you grin, like a puma, (growl)
i watch as you, spend an hour or two,
in the bath, like a chilli,


1 times, i love you
2 times, i love you
3 times
4 times
5 times
i love you---------------

twice a week, i take a peek,
as you bathe, like a rrrreptile
i catch your eye,
and you feel the sponge,
its so soft (ohhhhh) interjectile.

1 times i love you
2 times i love you
3 times
4 times
5 times i love you (ohhhhh)

(guitar- solo)

1 times i love you
2 times i love you
3 times
4 times
5 times a week i love you
i love you-----------------
arrrrooooooohhhhh.

hehe!

Random musing and thoughts...

I'm tired, I'm tired of intermittent bursting into tears and all sorts of jumbled emotions I've been smacked with today. My head hurts. Fuck empathy, fuck being overly sensitive. It's all just pain.
............

I wish I could express my despair and sometimes downright loathing of the human race, of society with its contempt for anything or anyone that doesn't fit its self appointed mould of what a human being is, and gods forbid you should differ from that in any form. Who the fuck is anybody to tell me that creed, color, size, shape, spirituality or sexual preference that I or any other is lesser or deserving of your ridicule and ignorance like your something special, like your genes or choices elevate you to a higher status. Lets get something straight, your merely a human being like the rest of us, maybe a taller one, a thinner one, a prettier one yadda yadda but nothing more than one of us for all that. If your one of those who have ever acted in such a way to a fellow being, hang your head in shame and embarrassment. It's you who lose, you who limit yourself to your superficial 'clones' and pretences of friendships. Sometimes I wish it didn't feel like societies ills were mine, my responsibility, like I'm supposed to fix them, be one giant band aid and make everything all right. I don't know why I feel that way, I wouldn't know where to begin anyway. I just know that's how and what I feel.

A long time ago, having spent most of the first few months of my life in hospital, about to die my parents having been called to my side to say goodbye, an individual walked in and simply informed them it would be ok I 'had stuff to do' and I'm still here. Perhaps I'm still searching for that, still trying to understand it, this duty I feel placed on me that I get ever more frustrated at my inability to live up to as years go by and I strive to fix everything I feel, see wrong, put people right at least in the real world. Is the empathy, sensitivity, fear for the the world, humanity more about the nature I call my own though barely mentioned here, or part of what would be me in any event because of some pre determined great thing I was once told I was made for that I may never achieve?

Ever feel crazy?

Nice....

Speaking of the toe ouch! (and yes I realize I have toenails perhaps a little longer than the general standard :P)

*sings* 'One of these toes is not like the others,
One of these toes just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which toe is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?' heh.......

*Cries*

Dammit.......... I just decided it was time to clean out my ickle roborovskis' so I chased them about the cage a bit, and finally managed to get all 5 and put them elsewhere for a moment (which is generally a large suitcase). I went back over and what did I hear but very obvious sounds of tiny, newborn robs. Though now that I have disturbed the adults I don't know that they will make it, because the mother might now abandon them (and try as I might I can't locate them, they are well buried) or we might have a good old hamsterish case of 'quick! eat the tiny ones, we're scared!' Gross, but they do it. I could kick myself, I'll be so dissapointed to lose them. Now I'm paranoid and keep listening out to see if I can still hear the little squeakies :( I honestly think 'someone' tried to stop me in the first place, just as I got the bag for the old bedding a huge sign fell on my foot and damn near broke my toe. I hobbled, cursed, sat with ice and numbed it ranting about how there was no way I was cleaning anything now because it damn it hurt. However I went up anyway. Why don't I take notice of very obvious 'don't do something' smack in the face (or toe) signs that maybe you should leave what you your about to do for a little longer. Sorry ickle squeakers :(

(and Thur, hopefully you'll pass through and read this, sorry I didn't reply to your text sweetie, I have so ran out of credit, and haven't had a chance to put anyore on the phone! *huggles*

"Toothing"

LONDON (Reuters) - Commuters take note -- the respectable person sitting next to you on the train fumbling with their cell phone might be a "toother" looking for sex with a stranger.

not sleazy in the slightest... ewwwwwwww...

*Insert randon thought*

'I woke up today and wished for tomorrow
I don't want to be like anyone else

I woke up today and wished for tomorrow
I don't want to even be myself'

Just says it all somedays.

Don't try this at home kids lol!

At some stage yesterday, I went to a small local shopping center with my mum. As she put it 'it will get you outside for an hour or so if nothing else.' Fine. I was in the mood so I went. Big mistake, there's a reason I hate outside and definately shopping - all the damn people, and the place was beyond busy. Didn't take long before I was totally overwhelmed, frustrated and my head was exploding. I got home in dire need of painkillers and the only things left there were paracodol, which I have a strange reaction to but after holding out for while I took them anyway. So the latter half of my night was spent in a total, slow, stoned haze grinning like some cheshire cat from the depths of hell. It's truly the strangest feeling, to feel that slow and shaky inside as you giggle at nothing. And you know you've taken them, the taste, the smell just stays, it permeates your head it's like that's what the haze is. Eugh! just.... wierd, hard to really explain. Tis a bad, bad thing I did lol!

Contented/Confused

Thank you Scuzz for the 2 hours of HIMness and the beautiful Mr Valo *grins* Thoroughly enjoyable, and I'm a happy bunny. I admit that I'm confused though, at the need for the pixelating of something as mundane as a cigarette in videos, I think your getting slightly carried away now you censor types *shakes fist* I have come up with two conclusions, either you think that we wouldn't recognise one if it was stubbed out on our foreheads, or the men in black have secretly used their mind device doodly to remove them from our non musician like and talentless brains thus allowing you to hide them and said musicians to puff away without detection. There must have been a malfuntion, the doodly failed, I knew what it was and i'm gonna tell!

Bloody rodents

Last night was spent chasing hamsters, but thankfully when I was asleep. Yup my cute lil darlings made so much noise and fucked about for so long before I fell into sleep that the worry that they would escape (because they were all up on the roof again and appeared quite determined to destroy it and bail out sas fashion, and they also decided on an entire bedding and cage redesign) carried on into my dreams and I tossed and turned as in my head I raced around in utter panic diving mercillesly on the small furry creatures that were running all over the room. They say most owners become like their pets and yes I'm small, I nibble *laughs*, hoard stuff, like to hide in my space and poke my nose out to grab food and occasionally act demented and crazy. In this deal though I don't know who made who crazier first lol!

My brother, the legend...

So, over the weekend, we've had a girl from New Zealand staying with us. She used to be a neighbor where we last lived and they left about 15 or so years ago, she was just a kid. I was slightly nervous about it because it's been so long and I don't know her any more and I'm just utter crap with home invading strangers lol! But turns out she was ok and we got on really well. On the last night my Brother decided as he was going out with friends that it might be cool to take her with him and give her one night out. Immediately, warning bells went off in my head, you see I know my brother all to well, so taking the poor girl aside I made sure that she had money to get home by herself and warned her to be ready for insanity and him possibly just disappearing.

I wasn't proven wrong... by 11.30 my door was getting hammered. It was her, furious, sober (she doesn't drink) and abandoned. Seems things were going quite well at the bar, just the normal, my bro as usual drank too much too soon and quickly was falling down a lot, not something she is used to. To top that off she had one of his friends pawing at her and was trying to fend him off while some strange girl who liked this guy also harrasssed her about taking 'her man'. My brother the gentelman, was too out of his head to care. When the bar closed, they wanted a party and it was decided they would all head to 'pawing boys' house. Rightly so C. decided she was not going to a strange house with a guy likely to jump on her and no-one there to stop it and wanted to go home. My brother managed to get a taxi for her and rather than putting her in it, offereing any money since she paid on the way down, or letting her know where she was going or how she was going to get in the house he staggered across the street and wasn't seen again. Thankfully I was quite awake, there wasn't anyone in the house itself and she would have had a cold night to sleep outside the door on the steps lol!

Roll on to the morning, mum gets a call around 7.30am at work from the brainless wonder himself asking if she will come get him, she tells him she will but doesn't finish untaill 8am. She finally leaves to pick him up and finds our man running up and down the road he said he would be on, still incredibly drunk, laughing to himself while sporting a fuzzy pink, wide brimmed ladies hat and twirling a huge and heavy bright pink disco ball that the roof of some bar must now be missing.

Yup, that's my boy..........

Basket Case

Do you have the time
To listen to me whine?
About nothing and everything
all at once
I am one of the those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?

Green Day

Just the beginning of the song, it was playing as I walked in the room a little earlier. I had to laugh, sometimes lyrics can be too appropriate considering thoughts at that moment. Heh..

Yup, been quiet

And that's just how I feel, sad, quiet, struggling not to cut myself off from everything entirely. Mentally just screwed.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Look who was found on my doorstep *grin*



Well, my mum found him first (I don't know! I just thought 'him' lol!) so i didn't find out I had mail for a while. But damn it's the sweetest little thing! :D Has that sort of 'creature comforts' cuteness about it.

(you can get your very own here, and thanks for the little note too Mem :)

Heh...

You know you need to do laundry when you realise that if you don't, you can't go anywhere because you have no clothes. I am the laundry slob, yup, sue me. Now if I don't want to go around in my pj's (very purple and trendy though they maybe, it's not a fashion statement I want to make.. Nor do I wish to be the nut that wanders the street in her nightwear either, but that sounds more fun) I better go do something about it.

Quizziness

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yup no surprise, I cannot stand the bastardization of any language.

Kurt Cobain 1967-94

Wow, has it really been 10 years...


As the man said:
Interviewer: How are you today?
Kurt: I hate myself and want to die

heh... sentiments expressed by many who've had long periods of 'those days' too sweetie...

Time Change Can Trouble the Sleep-Deprived

proof that daylight savings is messing with my health. Give me back my hour!!!!!!!! *shakes fist* Heh... well at least they have offered 'tips' on coping, though we are all too aware of all of them anyway.

HAHA!

Just checking the stats and someone actually got here with the search term 'wibble monkey' ?!! What the hell is that *laughs* Ok, so I've propbably said 'wibble' it's my 'word' though I definately don't think I have mentioned monkeys in the same vein lol!

(and while I'm waffling, the hammys get a great big a++++ for shushing, which last night they did quite well :))

Blah

I so need to sleep... The last couple of mornings, I've still been roaming around and hearing everyone leave for work and such, then finally sleeping 3/4 hours before feeling guilty and getting myself up to start my day. I hate when I get into that pattern, I can't really concentrate or focus on any one thing that much, i'm tired and drained because I need a certain ammount of sleep that I won't allow myself, and things get negleted. Bad, bad me. I'm well aware. It's coming up on 2am now and I really want to sink into a dead coma like sleep and get back on track. This will be providing of course my insane, nocturnal, noisy and just starting to have themselves a good old runaround hamster troop permit it. How does one make these tiny critters understand you need them to shush!

Hurrah for freebies!!!!!!

I've been an affiliate of vampirewear for quite a while, because the stuff is just fun. A good friend (and forum co-admin) bought quite a few bits and pieces from them and happened to mention where she had found out about them. I got the coolest e-mail from Joanne there and by way of thanks they are sending me a free tee and necklace hehe! Now that's pretty damn decent.

So, yeah, give them a look see, buy stuff and support them (and hey it won't hurt me either! lol!)

HEHE........

Not surprisingly someone asked me who would be my female crushes should they exist. The first will always remain the same. Rya Kihlstedt, who knows why *cough* .



The other Eileen Daly *rawr!* do not question the taste lol!