Stay away from the cam!
Music: HIM - 'No-one will love you'

Gah! Well really! What I did not want to find upon logging on for the short time I have was that my brother had somehow found out how to use the webcam and had decided it would be funny to do just that, not aware that it meant broadcasting his big mug here to anyone who passed through, just in case anyone was was subjected to it and wondered what was going on (also why there is a very quickly made and put up 'on vacation' image). I can't be too mad because he didn't know and well, he's not here is he the brainless wonder, but he knows better than to be sneaking around my room when I'm not there or doing anything on my computer but checking his mail. I should scare the shit out of him and with a little 'get your face away from my webcam' message but that would require me having to explain how I knew he had stuck his face on it in the first place and that is not going to happen.

Anyway, got to run, dial up sucks, dial up that kicks you off every 2 minutes sucks even worse and i'm getting so frustrated I'm about to have a breakdown.

(footnote: Newcastle was brilliant, went to the metro, huge mall, and spent money I don't have but it was good. Lots of new reading material, music and a little brass finnish fairy now have to be found room for to come home with me :))

[edit]Bowahahahahahahaha! Thankies to the person who would love to 'save me' in the comments but no thankies, and I even replied, see how nice I am?

Moo!
Music: None

Heh!, well as you can see I have (late last night) arrived safe and sound. The airport was fun as always for me, not only did I 'beep' going through the detector thingy and get pulled over but a squillion people got to wonder what the hell was going on when they made me remove my boots and then they left with them, leaving me for no reason whatsoever looking guilty (you can't help yourself lol) and furious while standing in my socks. Apparantly they needed to check them out. What on earth they thought they might find is beyond me. I actually had nail sissors and a metal file in a little nail kit thing, which (and it's just my opinion mind!) are probably hitting much higher on the scary scale than my boots, unless they planned on extracting the smell for a rather toxic stink bomb or some sort of nerve gas. Who knows *laughs*. I really had quite forgotten about the sissors etc, ensconsed in their little container alongside the rest of the girlie stuff until that point, but it wasn't in hand luggage anyway so it was a mute point lol! Just the thought though of that having been in my bag on top of the whole 'dangerous' and deadly boot escapade just about made my day lol!

Busy bee
Music: Bowling For Soup - 'Punk Rock 101'

*Gasp* well I've spent most of the day washing clothes, packing and generally sorting things out for my trip. As always everything is left last minute and although I'm done for the most part there are still bits and pieces that I didn't do and I'm too tired to care right now. I'll just have to get on with it in the morning. Aside from that the redying of the hair occurred, again it didn't turn out as expected (what is it with dyes and my hair right now, sheesh!) so now it's got a strange pink/red and strawberry blonde thing going on that I'm much happier to go outside with *laughs*

Anyway, as I'm going to be away for about 3 weeks the campic won't be changing for at least that length of time or maybe a month(I will have some level of internet access, just don't know exactly how it's going to go) but the camblog has also just been updated with a couple of recent ones too, and that will be it for a while.

I really should go to bed.

Damn you brain!
Music: Skid Row - 'Get The Fuck Out'

Yes, my brain deserted me and in a shop of all places that sold that bloody hair lightener so while it had wondered off distracted by something shiney or perhaps the groovy sunglasses display my body wondered off too and managed to arrive home with said hair product. Well, it didn't exactly go as planned and now I look like ginger spice exploded all over my head (in the not so controlled and streaked way she had) with it's random clumps of platinum blonde and strawberry blonde/ginger hair. Not that you really see that from the pics but it really is something to behold. I definately won't be going out of the house until the red dye goes on (i'm giving my poor frazled hair a break after such rough treatment). I look sick, or possibly dead. Now I can only hope that this doesn't affect too badly the overall look when I recolour because otherwise it will be an emergengy dash to the nearest hairdresser to try and save it somehow before I leave on Wednesday eve.

Once again, brain you suck for leaving me to fend for myself.

And the wheel turns...
Music: Seether/Amy lee - 'Broken'

A blessed midsummer/summer solstice to all my pagan peeps :)

'...These go to eleven'
Music: Spinal Tap - 'Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight'

Ohhhhhh! guess what I'm watching! *laughs* I love this film. Spinal Tap has cheered me up no end, haven't seen it in a loooooooooong time and strangely just a couple of days ago I was sorting out my videos, checking out what was on some old unlabled spares and it turned up. Then it turns up on the on TV tonight so I decided to watch.

Town was hell as always, it was very obviously 'oh shit Fathers Day is tomorrow, quick to the shops in a blind we have no idea what were doing panic!' Saturday. We're talking 3 people deep to just to get to the damn cards in most of the card stores. Did manage to get a 'cool dad' set from Lush and a cute little glass thing with a sweet inscription so hurrah!. Also got my friends pressies, a roebuck coffin backpack with the ankh motif and a pencam thing she wanted. By that stage broke and frustrated I headed home having had enough, so the other stuff will have to wait until Monday/Tuesday or just get sent from England

Now, back to the square moving image maker lol!

Blah, blah, blah
Music: Jane's Addiction - 'Just Because'

*shudders* I must face the city tomorrow again having only just been there. Twice in one week is asking for trouble but it's Fathers Day on the 20th, his b'day on July 6th, my brothers b'day July 8th and I have to pick up B'day pressies for my friend (hers is July 2nd) as I'm again off to England to stay with her and won't be back to mid July, so need to get everything now, or at least before Wednesday. I'm hoping the length of this little jaunt doesn't prove too much, I have a tendency to get a tad frustrated with people I have to be around for practically 24/7 without an escape route... One good thing is that I decided upon getting some new clothes for this trip as there have been many voiced opinions on my tendency to constantly wear the same thing *laughs* So in the spirit of trying to cooperate I came home with a band T-shirt (Hole, cute purple/pink heart logo thingy) some black with purple side stripe sweatpants for strategic lounging purposes and to really sicken them another pair of black combats lol! Of course it my usual fare, but it's new right? lol! All this for £27 so hurrah for sales, and being small enough to get away with clothes that say 'ages 15/16' on them that you don't have to pay vat on :D

On another tangent a sentiment expressed approximating 'outside appearance does not denote the worth of the individual but we remain defined by our looks' just really got me up on my soapbox again and it's so true. This wasn't in regards to clothing or 'style', although we know only too well that happens, but human physicality like height whether short or overly tall, weight from the obese to the stick thin, shape, disability and so on, the sort of things that can potentially see people instantly dismissed by certain individuals and clearly only worthy of ridicule or for their entertainment. I just don't understand it, and it bugs me, really, really bugs me that people are so ignorant. I've seen it all too often, groups or individuals walking by sniggering or commenting on others as if they alone in all their perfectness have the right to exist, so seemingly horrified at anything that we as a society deem 'imperfection' that with no knowledge of that person, no idea of the potential harm and longevity of their remarks, what that person's state of mind may be or what they might have been through they feel they have a right to open their mouths. Until you have got over yourself enough to have bothered to get to know them you have forfeited that right full stop no exceptions. It isn't big or clever just pathetic and speaks volumes of your own insecurities. Anyone who ever had anything to say about me, for any reason, that I didn't know found out swiftly that I'm smarter, quicker witted and a lot nastier than them. There is no 'standard model' for humanity and keep in mind the last person who thought they could create what they believed was the perfect race and that there should be one was Hitler....yeah, nice guy *cough*

Yes, I plan on picking away at moranity in my own special way untill they get it on this and possibly many other topics. Anyway, time to close if I'm going to get my ass out of bed at a decent hour and ahve as much of the day as possible to try and get as much as I can done in town. Arg..

Hair
Music: Quireboys- 'Pretty Girls'

I have got bored with mine again, just want to liven it up a little, a more extreme red and the Jerome Russell 'Red Riot' just jumped out at me. Problem is, for that particular shade I need to pre lighten my hair. Ummmmmmmmmmm....... no, that's not going to happen so again although it will likely be a more vibrant color than I have had before it's still going to be much darker and duller than I want. Sheesh, where the hell are all he semi permanents or permanents that can give you that sort of red right there on the tin without frying your hair, I must be missing them. My hair is naturally reddish, which also means it's frizzy too I cannot imagine at this moment what lightening it or bleaching it to death would do to it now not to mention I don't want to 'blonde out' my hair permanently dammit! I was so tempted today, I had the 'blonder' in my hand lol! I came to my senses hehe! Can't wait to see just exactly how it ends up when I get round to doing it.

Well, well...
Music: SUM 41 - 'Fat Lip'

Just for anyone passing by who might be interested:

Hideous Crime: The Vampire Killers (Documentary)
Time - 22:55 - 23:55 (1 hour long)
When - Tuesday 15th June on five
Disturbing documentary which looks at two recent horrific 'vampire' murders and asks if this the work of severely disturbed individuals or a sign of a more widespread social problem. In 2001, 17-year-old Matthew Hardman killed a 90-year-old woman and drank her blood, and Goth couple Daniel and Manuela Ruda's bizarre satanistic lifestyle was uncovered after they murdered a work colleague.

Only relevant if your in the UK though. I shall definately be watching, pointing, laughing at the insane 'vampire' *snorts* stupid mudering peeps.

Aside from that, someone was listening to last nights ramble and it's so cool and breezy, although it's expected to be hot as hell again pretty soon I'm enjoying th break.

Too Hot...
Music: None

Damn this heat... it's wearing me out, at one point today I was so drained and shaky my kees almost went from under me, Im so very tired too which probably didn't help but although I appear to sleep these last few nights I can't be properly, I'm just not rested when I wake up and my eyes and head hurt. I need a happy medium, or to be somewhere more condusive to this warmth, or maybe just 'non' weather and yes, you do know waht I mean by that!

Clothing goodness
Music: HIM - 'Buried Alive By Love'

Who knew Darkside sold online eh? Well, obviously not me lol! D'uh, I get there eventually don't I, even if it takes a while lol! Just realized I have quite a few bits and pieces of their stuff. Now I have even more reason to pretend I don't have plastic buying power of any kind, damn it's just waaaaaaay cheaper on the site.

Anyway, neck is tensing up and I can feel that familliar 'pulse' that is threatening a real bad head so I'm going to close.

Age
Music: G'N'R - 'Sympathy for the Devil'

Another 'I was just in the shower and thinking' ramble, I do that a lot. Anyway I guess it's more or less because my birthday is coming up next month and 33 is a little disconcerting lol! But not in a 'dear goddess I'm geriatric' sort of way, well maybe kinda *laughs*, it's more about the pressure that mounts each year from all directions to 'grow up' to be doing and have what society deems at this stage I should. I seem somehow to have lost the page in the rulebook that states from somewhere around mid twenties on, perhaps even younger, you are required to slip into the quagmire of home ownership, job, marriage, kids, financial stabillity, know who you are and where your going. Most of all you are required to have 'grown out of' that silly loud music and those ridiculous clothes that you probably still love so much if only you were honest and not doing what is socially acceptable because your suppossed to. So you wait until wife or hubby has gone out, stick on your hidden Metallica CD and play air guitar to your hearts content. Well I don't own my own home or have any of those other things, I don't know who I am and I appear to be reading the map for where I am going upside down. What's annoying is that everyone else seems to be more worried about it even than me. Perhaps I don't want those things, perhaps it's the fear that starting into all that now is too much too late. Either way let me figure it out, pushing me to 'change' won't work. I don't have a button anyone can press that will change or make me hate the music I love or the clothes you dispise simply because you decree I should 'be over it'.

All this is probably why I know very few around my age that I communicate with, because these things change people, very few seem to take all that on and remain the same. Yes I'm well aware it's called responsibility, but some still manage to be true to themselves, enjoy what they always did without abandoning it because of some number and who they should be when they reach it and not become 20 years older in their heads overnight. I just have more in common with those younger, my brain is in a perpetual state of teenage angst etc etc *laughs* It's much easier for me too to fit in with that as most assume I'm 'one of them' anyway that I'm not much more than 18, 19 sometimes. That I'm not going to complain about!

So, you will excuse me while I mosh my little head off, dress totally inappropriatly for 33 *rolls eyes* pierce and tattoo myself at will, dye my hair strange colors should the mood take me, whine and bitch about parents, do stupid things and act like the much younger person my brain beleives itself to be for as long as I can get away with it or senility sets in and I don't care any more. For those who would say 'grow up' make me!

Silliness!
Music: Powder - 'Monger'

I have been entertaining myself by attempting to make a personal icon as close to me as it's possible,(my hair is actually red, not quite as red mind you, but generally there is never enough light for it to ever really show up and it looks dark, though there is one old image that it came up ok lol! No particular reason don't know what I will do with it but it was amusing, and well you can see the end result *laughs* courtesy of Portrait Illustration Maker

(thanks to Orb for the delightful time wasting!)

HAHA!
Music: Aerosmith - 'Cryin'

For sheer entertainment value try finding your ideal job. Apparantly my ideal employment is shoplifting *giggles* them things are heavy! ;) You know you want to try it and tell me your results Yup, feeling not so crappy today, so far.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr...
Music: Dogs D'amour - 'Drunk Like Me'

We have just had the most tremendous storm here, I new it was coming, it was bearing down on me, so close and muggy. Just really heavy. Far from my usual elated and hyper, rejuvenated self as happens normally after such a thing I am in fact right now beyond volatile, uptight and agressive. I want to be Thor with that big fucking hammer causing chaos and smushing things. Bah....... perhaps it shall wear off.

Just keeps getting better...
Music: Ozzy - 'Suicide Solution'

Well go me!!!!!!!!! Sadly I didn't make her cry, but I did damn well and after I was through (and during the times I let her speak) she informed me that she wanted a new job and was 'going straight out after work to get pissed' her very words lol! I mangled her head, asked her if there was some bank conspiracy to drive me insane, she was so confused lol! So, no tears but I drove her to want to quit her job and hit the bottle. I'm so proud! Anyway, the damn thing can't be closed until it's not in debit status, which means I need to find £195 before they will officially close it, but at least from today there are no longer any cards attatched to or valid when it comes to that account. Now, that brings me to my current and, as I thought, as yet unfrauded account which while I was there turned up a cash withdrawal for £20 from an ATM well after the card had been reported lost that I got the dud replacement for and which appears to have happened at 8:15am on the 3rd. 8:15am? yeah sure I was out wandering about/alive at stupid O'Clock in the morning. Are they fucking nuts! Anyone who knows me will be falling out of their chairs and rolling on the floor about now at that one.... it's wierd because they must have had the pin number to use the machine and why so little? Worst thing it was the machine right at teh end of my road, little to close for comfort there buddy. So, anyway there is now another report off to the retail fraud squad regarding another of my accounts from the same bank. What is it about me or my money that makes people need it so badly that I'm prime target number one for theiving bastards huh? Anyone?

Right...
Music: Alice Cooper - 'Hello Hooray'

I'm getting myself ready and leaving to go make a bank manager cry. It's my good deed for the day and bound to be much appreciated by many *laughs* Wish me luck!

Blah
Music: InMe - 'Faster The Chase'

Well, shortly I have to leave for an MRI scan in relation to my heart. Presumptuous buggers eh, daring to assume I have one in the first place. Silly, silly people mowahahahahahahaha!

Update - 6pm: Well, that was the strangest experience ever! Was there just over an hour in total, around 40 minutes of which was spent in a repetitively noisy metal coffin (that's exactly what it felt like especially lying there looking at the roof of the thing and so enclosed)having a strange dye pumped into my system while strapped down into the bit you lie on so I couldn't move. I did fine until the dye started being run through, they hadn't thought they would need that so I'd been in there a while before they decided they required it after all, then initially I felt a bit 'funny' and woozy and had a bit of a controlled panic about the disorientation but it passed fairly quickly. Thank gods I had warned them before hand that my ears are very sensitive to any continuously repeated tone (one reason I can't listen to or abide rave, techno etc besides that it's well...Just bad) and that quite possibly that would be the first thing to freak me out and have me go nuts on them so I was provided with very loud music to help with that, though I flinched a few times at a sudden pitch that made it through. All in all, I wouldn't plan on doing it again lol!

So...
Music: HIM - 'Close to the flame'

I HAVE MY HIM TICKETTY GOODNESS! *happy, happy dances* Guess they were on the way before the card fiasco at the bank and anything could be stopped. HURRAH! Now back to the Scottish excursion, not really to much to say, it was totally brilliant, the house was incredible and the party couldn't have been better, people everywhere, spilling outside, drink flowing. Most of it is a half remembered blur lol! We arrived, my sis picked the 4 of us up, me, my bro, his love and one of our friends that my sis and I grew up with and we stopped off on the way back for some yummy food at a pub mid afternoon and started drinking then *eek* Got to the house and had the obligatory tour before my sis raced off to pick up another friend of ours from the train station. On her return we all took ourselves outside the house to the picnic table in the front garden and continued to consume wine for all we were worth. Must admit I was very startled, and so were the others, when having only just about sat down my glass took off from the table at me and covered me in red wine. Now that was just bizarre, there was a moment of silence before everyone did the panicking thing and shouting about how no-one had touched the glass, we'd all just been chatting and it just launched itself and they couldn't understand how if something did happen or moved the table that nothing else wobbled or moved. I didn't care, I was just glad I had another shirt lol!

A little later all the other guests started to arrive and we moved it inside, I just wandered about chatting to gods knows who about gods knows what lol! Some of us wandered out the back, sitting chatting and drinking on the steps, this was were I found my socks the next day. Yeah, I'd tell ya if I knew lol!!!!! Any way that's the gist of it, eventually people started to head home and around 4am I made my way upstairs and fell hapilly onto the mattress provided. Next morning, well afternoon for me, I woke up, showered, packed up and joined everyone else downstairs just in time to head out again for lunch with everyone. It was so damn hot, and I must have looked insane in my black cardi but it was the only thing saving my poor white skin from crisping. The only part of me exposed, my scalp/forehead, which the sun was beating down on, did exactly that, despite everyone's protestations that it wasn't hot enough to burn anyone, Uh huh.... I know when I'm burning.... and the sore red skin on my head knows it too.

Moving on, we left our friend back to the train station and then my sis continued on and left our little motley crue back to the ferry, which as mentioned below was fun *cough* I would have got up and told them to shut up had I thought there would be any chance of my survival, however I'm wise enough to know a group of Belfast so called 'hard men' (if your from Belfast you'll know the type) *dies laughing* would probably play football with my newly detatched head.

Home again
Music: None

Utterly wasted and exhausted, sunburned forehead, ferries suck (especially full of loud, ignorant, obnoxiously drunk football supporters, or as I like to call them mindless, aggressive hooligans) and that's about it for now *crawls towards bed*

irritation becomes blind fury...
Music: Quireboys - 'Misled'

Just what the fuck..... do people get licenses to run banks from fucking kinder eggs? Seriously, inquiring minds want to know. My shopping day, limited already as it was, got shorter because I spent most of it in the bank exploding all over it and it's cashiers like a hobbit on crack (in case you were wondering what a homicidal, bad tempered red haired and small irish woman might look like). Why? Because my shiny new card was useless. Must be nearly 2 years fucking on from from my account being defrauded, and they gave me my newest replacement FOR THAT ACCOUNT! and it's still fucking open!!!!!! I bought the HIM ticket with it, used it in a shop today and it was only when trying to get cash out and the machine laughed at me that I went straight to the bank and found out. So I without any questions or any alarm bells going off with anyone I have used an account to purchase stuff that has been defrauded and had the police involved, is suppossed to be fucking closed and should not have had any activity allowed. There is no words for my level of frustration and stress right now. I have another wait for another new card and an appointment on Wednesday with the manger to finish this once and for all. I will try and remain calm at this meeting, but the last time me and a bank manger met it was over this mess when it originally happened and I ended up doing this at him then giving him the fingers and sitting back down in the chair while he took a moment to look stunned. Not incredibly lady like but that's me for ya, I sometimes do things and think about the consequences afterwards especially when I'm in a rage. It was also funny when they tried to get me to sit down and stop pacing up and down the length of the bank, I told them in no uncertain terms that it was the only thing keeping me from doing something much more frightening and they had best just let me keep walking.

Anyway, the bro and his love are staying here tonight becasue we are leaving so early in the morning and we're going to ahve a few drinks. And I need them.

*Curses*
Music: Hole - 'Celebrity Skin'

Cranky, tired. Didn't sleep properly at all, not from lack of wanting to this time however but because my dear brother took himself off for the night telling me to leave him keys out so he could get in the house. It was only after he had gone I realized my spare set for the house are missing, can't find them anywhere which meant if I left the set I did have out for him I would be locked out of the house when I woke up. So about 3.30am I gave up, left the house and lay awake waiting for the inevitable almost smashing of my window for him to be let in when he discovered no keys had been left. I didn't think I'd have to wait too long by then so there really didn't seem a point in trying to sleep properly so I dozed on and off. Finally must have conked out and went in the house this morning to find out that he had decided to stay at his loves. Gah! I could have cried. To make me more irritated I have to now face going into the city as I'm leaving for Scotland in the morning for a couple of days to stay with my sis and her birthday is the 11th so it would just be a sensible thing to bring over a present now rather than risk it getting there on time and in one piece through the post. I have no clue what I'm going to get her, which is stressing me too because I have so little time though really I can't blame anyone but myself for that *laughs*

Anyway, running, very very late!

Um......
Music: The Rasmus - 'In The Shadows'

Yup, so in the kind of keeping everything together thing - new photo/cam bloggy thing so I can do everything while logged into blogspot. What an exciting post hehe!

Damn!
music: Quireboys - 'Whippin' Boy'

You just got to love the Horror Channel when they serve up absolute treasures like Draghoula I can't explain this film, you wouldn't beleive me if I did lol!!!!! You know those films, those horror flicks that are just so bad it's good, you revel in it, you can't turn it off because you can't beleive what you are seeing and must, simply must see it through to the end? This, people is the daddy. I'm sure I will stop laughing soon, as soon as images of a very dodgy trannie/drag queen vampire's bare ass protruding from what ever the hell it is he's wearing as he runs down the street chased by his mother, co-worker, and others like some demented Benny Hill sketch (swear I could hear the signature 'chase' tune) leave my mind *shakes head* lol! Wow lol!!!! Sweet dreams tonight for me I'm sure *falls over*

May I add, I'm in love with the Quireboys all over again, I've gone all nostalgic lol! Spikes voice, their sound just screams a bottle of Jack, low lights and late nights/early mornings. *sigh* Need more Dogs D'amour too.

Yup, still here!
Music: Powder - 'Monger'

Just back from leaving my friend to the airport. Was a good week, though for the most part rushed and busy fitting all we wanted to do inbetween the moments of sobriety and short periods of sleep in that unconcious, drooling, drunk kinda way. Made it to the cinema to finally see Van Helsing. Just fabulous, the effects everything were so well done, but I hope I wasn't the only one laughed my ass off at through bits and pieces, corny lines abounded lol! Just loved it though. Also got to see Kill Bill Vol.2 What can I say, Tarantino is the man, hats off for sheer brilliance!

Made it into town as I had to pick up my new switch card (hurrah!) and got conned into getting my hair cut, I swear I nearly had a nervous breakdown, I fear hairdressers. Really I do...with their sharp pointy sissors and their minds of their own when it comes to how your hair should look no matter what you have explained to them you want done. I think they hear in a different, special hairdresser language which translates everything they hear to 'fuck my hair up please while I sit here with a stupid grin telling you how great a job you've done as I cry inside!' Luckily this girl was a student, new, so they hadn't gotten to her yet, hahahaha! and did what I wanted. It's way shorter.... but healthier and she did nothing more than take the 3 inches I wanted off, no fuss, no messing. Which means that compulsive, obsessive me will only want her near my head again and run out of the place if she isn't there. Gave myself myself a treat for bravery and bought myself some fabulous music Quireboys 2cd set 'A bit of what you fancy' and 'Bitter Sweet and Twisted' also got me the new Powder CD, which is so very, very much ear candy goodness :D

Now, best news for last. I AM GOING TO SEE HIM!!!!!!! *bounces and squeals with happiness!* weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I could not believe they are coming here. It's a small venue, and it's not for foever (October) and I'm so there!!!! *huge grin* Can you tell I'm happy about this yet? lol!

That said I'm totally exhausted so I'm going to sign off for a bit and leave you lurkers, readers, passers by or anyone else with the silly thing below to entertain yourselves!

M	Misunderstood
D	Devious
A	Altruistic
R	Respectable
K	Kinky
S	Sensual
T	Tender
O	Orderly
R	Radiant
M	Mesmerizing

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com